Every year on the second Sunday in May, we celebrate the mothers in our lives. As a kid, I’d prepare for Mother’s Day by making a homemade card and flowers made out of colored tissue paper. Sometimes I’d even spray them with perfume so they’d smell nice, like real flowers. I’d present these small tokens of affection to my mom on Mother’s Day, along with breakfast in bed. I treasure these memories now more than ever. This year makes 15 years since I’ve celebrated Mother’s Day with my mom. Since her passing, I now prepare for Mother’s Day in a different way.

 

 

For most people, Mother’s Day is a day to spoil Mom a little: take her out to brunch or dinner or maybe even a spa day. But for others, Mother’s Day can be an emotional day. I’ve spent my whole life surrounded by amazing mothers and I’m glad there’s a day dedicated to them (although I think they should be celebrated every day). But still, it’s a holiday that brings up a lot of emotions for me.  And it’s not just the actual holiday that’s hard to deal with, it’s all the build-up leading up to the day: the non-stop barrage of emails promoting Mother’s Day gift ideas that fill my inbox, the corresponding pseudo-sentimental commercials that flood each commercial break on TV – you get the picture. If you have the good fortune of having your mom in your life, you are truly blessed. Don’t ever take her for granted. But not everyone is as fortunate. For years, I’ve struggled with the bittersweet emotions that I experience on Mother’s Day. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at beating the Mother’s Day blues.

 

 

 

I’ve learned to focus more on my mother’s life than her death. I’ve also come to realize that it’s possible (and okay) to feel more than one emotion at once. It’s okay to be sad and celebrate my mother’s life at the same time. It’s okay to celebrate other mothers in my life. It’s okay to look through old photos and laugh. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to want some time to myself. I acknowledge that Mother’s Day without mom is not the same, but I also give thanks for the years I was able to spend with her.

 

If you struggle with the Mother’s Day blues, just know that you’re not alone. I know how you feel. You don’t have to feel left out. It’s okay to celebrate (or not celebrate) in whatever way feels right to you. Do whatever you need to do and practice self-care to get through the day. Make some new traditions. Watch your favorite movie. Treat yourself to a spa day. Spend time with family and friends. Take a yoga class. There’s no right or wrong way to spend the day. For me, it helps to stay busy and not spend the day alone. This Mother’s Day, I’ll be celebrating my mom and all the amazing, bad-ass moms and mother figures I have the privilege of having in my life.

 

How do you usually spend Mother’s Day?

 

 

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